Anxiety...
Behind the smiles the laughter and the normal feeling, is that crushing, sinking worrying feeling that is anxiety.
3 year ago whilst heading off on a family holiday, a sudden adrenaline rush hit me, with chest pains, finding it hard to catch my breath and a surge of complete worry.
.
.
I had no idea what was happening to me, i managed to calm my self down but opening the window, taking some deep breaths and the reassurance from mark got me through, but what was this awful feeling?
Since then I've still had to deal with *ANXIETY* rather a taboo subject until recently, was i embarrassed, ye i was i didn't feel like me any longer, and even though I've wanted what we have now for so long Jesus it was such a daunting time for me.
.
.
Everyone has hard times in life, some just deal with it all better,maybe there stronger? but what I've learnt is we are all strong! ghosts haunt us all but we make each day our own.
.
.
I feel grateful for every little thing i have in life, my beautiful healthy children, a solid relationship, a beautiful house ect, I've suffered some horrible things in life which many of us have, but I've come out the other side maybe with a few scars but I'm here.
.
.
I take each day as it comes and sometimes even getting in the car worries me stupidly my brain will go in to over drive, ( what if we crash ) (what if we can't find a hospital) ( what if the kids loose us) all these what if's sometimes take over my life. I still struggle to sleep properly most nights as my brain goes in to over drive most nights sometimes i won't sleep at all, and just walk around fuzzy headed and zombie like, but i will always push myself for my children. For me leaving my close friends behind was the biggest worry, not being able to have there support if i needed it quickly, i always carry my phone around in case i need to phone for help quickly, but Mark is my rock and has helped me so bloody much and i will always forever be grateful for his love and support. I know not everybody has that some one to lean on but I'm grateful and lucky i do.
.
.
Seeing other peoples ways of dealing with anxiety has helped and I'm grateful its more spoken about now ( I no longer class myself as crazy ) which honestly i did at one point, telling Mark at 3 in the morning he needs to get me an ambulance because I'm dying, thinking someone will take my children away because I'm not stable. I've learnt to help myself routine is a big thing for me and planning if i know exactly whats going on i don't seem to worry as much, having a routine keeps me in check.
.
.
So no matter what your demons are there is ALWAYS HELP!
And you know what, IT'S OK TO NO BE OK.
.
.
There's so much help out there now to help with anxiety, personally counselling helped me deal with problems from my childhood talking to some one that's no connection to you really does help spilling everything like word vomit out to them lifts a weight from you!
.
.
Anxiety does suck but your not strange, mad just take that step help is out there.
Em x
.
.
I had no idea what was happening to me, i managed to calm my self down but opening the window, taking some deep breaths and the reassurance from mark got me through, but what was this awful feeling?
Since then I've still had to deal with *ANXIETY* rather a taboo subject until recently, was i embarrassed, ye i was i didn't feel like me any longer, and even though I've wanted what we have now for so long Jesus it was such a daunting time for me.
.
.
Everyone has hard times in life, some just deal with it all better,maybe there stronger? but what I've learnt is we are all strong! ghosts haunt us all but we make each day our own.
.
.
I feel grateful for every little thing i have in life, my beautiful healthy children, a solid relationship, a beautiful house ect, I've suffered some horrible things in life which many of us have, but I've come out the other side maybe with a few scars but I'm here.
.
.
I take each day as it comes and sometimes even getting in the car worries me stupidly my brain will go in to over drive, ( what if we crash ) (what if we can't find a hospital) ( what if the kids loose us) all these what if's sometimes take over my life. I still struggle to sleep properly most nights as my brain goes in to over drive most nights sometimes i won't sleep at all, and just walk around fuzzy headed and zombie like, but i will always push myself for my children. For me leaving my close friends behind was the biggest worry, not being able to have there support if i needed it quickly, i always carry my phone around in case i need to phone for help quickly, but Mark is my rock and has helped me so bloody much and i will always forever be grateful for his love and support. I know not everybody has that some one to lean on but I'm grateful and lucky i do.
.
.
Seeing other peoples ways of dealing with anxiety has helped and I'm grateful its more spoken about now ( I no longer class myself as crazy ) which honestly i did at one point, telling Mark at 3 in the morning he needs to get me an ambulance because I'm dying, thinking someone will take my children away because I'm not stable. I've learnt to help myself routine is a big thing for me and planning if i know exactly whats going on i don't seem to worry as much, having a routine keeps me in check.
.
.
So no matter what your demons are there is ALWAYS HELP!
And you know what, IT'S OK TO NO BE OK.
.
.
There's so much help out there now to help with anxiety, personally counselling helped me deal with problems from my childhood talking to some one that's no connection to you really does help spilling everything like word vomit out to them lifts a weight from you!
.
.
Anxiety does suck but your not strange, mad just take that step help is out there.
Em x
This is a really honest candid post. It’s definitely okay not to be okay. I suffer with anxiety too. A different type to you. But still that similar overbearing tiny thought that suddenly grows into something huge. It’s leaening to live with it that’s hard. But knowing others are there to support can help. Xxx
ReplyDeleteHello Tara,
DeleteThank you for the comment on my post. I think its good t be open with anxiety as there are a lot of people that suffer with all different forms, but as you said its good to know that we are no alone and have people who can relate and that would help each person by being able to share and talk.