From Kent To Cornwall

Behind the smiles the laughter and the normal feeling, is that crushing, sinking worrying  feeling that is anxiety. 3 year ago whilst heading off on a family holiday, a sudden adrenaline rush hit me, with chest pains, finding it hard to catch my breath and a surge of complete worry. . . I had no idea what was happening to me, i managed to calm my self down but opening the window, taking some deep breaths and the reassurance from mark got me through, but what was this awful feeling? Since then I've still had to deal with *ANXIETY* rather a taboo subject until recently, was i embarrassed, ye i was i didn't feel like me any longer, and even though I've wanted what we have now for so long Jesus it was such a daunting time for me. . . Everyone has hard times in life, some just deal with it all better,maybe there stronger? but what I've learnt is we are all strong! ghosts haunt us all but we make each day our own. . . I feel grateful for every little thing i have...

As i scroll through my social media pages seeing what my friends have been up to and what they have planned, admittedly does make me slightly jealous. Being this far away from all my close friends does suck, I've lost my support network the ones i would normally lean on, but social media and technology keeps us in contact, and we  speak everyday, it's not the same as meeting up for coffee and cake, or going shopping, lunch trips and nights out the list goes on! I do feel cut of from everyone,only because where we live in a small village and it's kind of keep yourself to yourself, but i'm so happy the boys have made some lovely new friends that live along our little road, seeing them have fun out on there bikes and exploring makes my heart melt even when i am feeling cut off. Having friends is an important thing but for me the kids having friends was a bigger thing! once there at school i'm sure i'll make some "school mum" friends. ...